The biggest thing I have learned about writing this year was how to write an essay. What I also learned is that there is a specific essay order and everything you have to include in them. When I wrote my first essay which was the Scarlet Ibis essay I didn't do that good on it. I got a C on it and it's not that bad because I was my first essay. On the last essay of the school year I got a B because I didn't finish. It isn't a big improvement but better than the first essay I did. What I need to improve on is not using past tense because something I forget and use past tense. What I also need to improve on is the grabbers because I feel like mine are boring. One of my goals for next year is to get a good grade on the essay. Another goal is to keep using the correct format and to not use past tense.
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Scarlet Ibis
Sarah Moradpour
Humanities
January 18, 2015
Acceptance
Pride can hurt the people that you love. The Scarlet Ibis is about a boy who has a little brother thats disabled and he tries to fix him. The narrator is shameful of his brother at first but at the end he loves him and realizes the importance of acceptance.
Accept the people that you love. For example, When Doodle was born the narrator thought “It was bad enough having an invalid brother, but having one who possibly not all there was unbearable, So I began to make plans to kill him by smothering him with a pillow.” (Hurst 1). This shows that the narrator didn’t accept his brother because he has a disability. This also shows that the narrator rather have his brother dead than have one with a disability. In addition, When the narrator said “I did not know then that pride is a wonderful, Terrible thing a seed that bears two vines, Life and death.” (Hurst 3). This shows that the narrator learned that pride isn’t more important than love. This also shows that pride can lead to life and death. Therefore you should accept the people that you love.
Failure is okay. For example, the narrator really wanted to have fun with a brother, and couldn’t because his brother has a disability. “But mama, crying, told me that even if William Armstrong lived he would never do these things with me.” (Hurst 1). This shows that the narrator was sad about having a brother who wouldn’t be able to do things with him. This also shows that the narrator loves his brother but his disability gets in the way. In addition, The narrator did not seem pleased no matter how hard Doodle tried. “School was only a few weeks away, and Doodle was far behind schedule. He could barely clear the ground when climbing up the rope vines, and his swimming was certainly not passable.” (Hurst 4). This shows that the narrator tried really hard to get Doodle to do things like other kids but he pushes Doodle too hard. This also shows that the narrator does care for his brother because he tries to teach him how to be a normal kid. In the end the narrator does realize failure is okay.
At the end the narrator loves his brother despite his disability. Accept the people that you love or it could lead to a tragic accident. In body paragraph 1 the narrator didn’t accept Doodle as his brother because he has a disability. In paragraph 2 the narrator cares for his brother and tries to help him by teaching him how to do things like swim, climb, and run before school starts. In the end having a lot of pride can lead to a disaster.
The score I got on this essay was a 2/5. I got that score because I used a lot of past tense and it was also the first essay Iv'e ever written so I wasn't expecting to get a good score. My goals for my future essays are to not use past tense anymore and to memorize the essay format. Another goal is to get a 3 or 4 on my essays.
Humanities
January 18, 2015
Acceptance
Pride can hurt the people that you love. The Scarlet Ibis is about a boy who has a little brother thats disabled and he tries to fix him. The narrator is shameful of his brother at first but at the end he loves him and realizes the importance of acceptance.
Accept the people that you love. For example, When Doodle was born the narrator thought “It was bad enough having an invalid brother, but having one who possibly not all there was unbearable, So I began to make plans to kill him by smothering him with a pillow.” (Hurst 1). This shows that the narrator didn’t accept his brother because he has a disability. This also shows that the narrator rather have his brother dead than have one with a disability. In addition, When the narrator said “I did not know then that pride is a wonderful, Terrible thing a seed that bears two vines, Life and death.” (Hurst 3). This shows that the narrator learned that pride isn’t more important than love. This also shows that pride can lead to life and death. Therefore you should accept the people that you love.
Failure is okay. For example, the narrator really wanted to have fun with a brother, and couldn’t because his brother has a disability. “But mama, crying, told me that even if William Armstrong lived he would never do these things with me.” (Hurst 1). This shows that the narrator was sad about having a brother who wouldn’t be able to do things with him. This also shows that the narrator loves his brother but his disability gets in the way. In addition, The narrator did not seem pleased no matter how hard Doodle tried. “School was only a few weeks away, and Doodle was far behind schedule. He could barely clear the ground when climbing up the rope vines, and his swimming was certainly not passable.” (Hurst 4). This shows that the narrator tried really hard to get Doodle to do things like other kids but he pushes Doodle too hard. This also shows that the narrator does care for his brother because he tries to teach him how to be a normal kid. In the end the narrator does realize failure is okay.
At the end the narrator loves his brother despite his disability. Accept the people that you love or it could lead to a tragic accident. In body paragraph 1 the narrator didn’t accept Doodle as his brother because he has a disability. In paragraph 2 the narrator cares for his brother and tries to help him by teaching him how to do things like swim, climb, and run before school starts. In the end having a lot of pride can lead to a disaster.
The score I got on this essay was a 2/5. I got that score because I used a lot of past tense and it was also the first essay Iv'e ever written so I wasn't expecting to get a good score. My goals for my future essays are to not use past tense anymore and to memorize the essay format. Another goal is to get a 3 or 4 on my essays.